成都桑拿

New Year’s Eve is here – no party poopers allowed

Light Show: Fireworks above Nobbys on New Year’s Eve in 2011. Picture: Dean Osland.
成都桑拿

The Urban Dictionary describes a party pooper as “a person who ruins a party by either stopping the fun or not participating in a certain activity”.

It gives this example: “Jeff is a party pooper because he won’t play Spin The Bottle”.

The dictionary gives a secondary meaning for party pooper, as “a person whoruins a festive moment with their attitude”.

The example is: “Jan is such a party pooper, but we went on without her”.

Listen to Mr Bean. He knows what he’s talking about.

The third meaning is too disgusting, so we won’t mention it.

The fourth meaning is: “A person who goes to parties, but kills the mood by not having a good time and sitting in a corner texting on their phone. And they end up leaving earlier than anyone else”.

It gives another meaningwhich we hadn’t heard before: “Portable toilets used at a public party, concertor event”.

The example is: “There’s a long line at the party poopers”.

Anyhow, the point is tonight is New Year’s Eve. So don’t be a party pooper.

Quiet FireworksFireworks have been around for a long time. Apparently they originated in China about 2000 years ago.

Legend has it that a Chinese cook discovered fireworkswhen hemixed charcoal, sulphur and potassium nitrate. Hecompressedit in a bamboo tube and burnt it.

Chinese believe firecrackers have a mythical power to fend off evil spirits and ghosts with loud bangs.

This being the case, they probably wouldn’t appreciate the council in Italy that introduced new laws forcing citizens to use quiet fireworks.

Lawmakers in Collecchio in the province of Parma did so to reduce the distress that the noise from fireworks causes to animals, children and old folks.

Pretty PollutantsWriting about fireworks before last New Year’s Eve, a story aboutfireworks said they were our “prettiest pollutant” and “terrific but toxic”.

“Fireworks are great fun. We all enjoy guessing the colours of the rockets before they ignite in the sky, hearing the explosions echo off nearby buildings, or writing our names in light with hand sparklers. But there is an environmental price to pay. Firework smoke is rich in tiny metal particles,” wrote Gary Fuller,a senior lecturer in air quality atKing’s College London.

“Fireworks can lead to substantial air pollution problems.Fireworks that fall to the ground contain residues of unburnt propellants and colourants, while particle pollution in the air eventually deposits on the ground or gets washed out by rain. Some of this finds its way intolakes and rivers.”

This problem has been linked to thyroid problems, causing limits to be set for drinking waterin some US states. “This is a major concern forlakeside resortsand attractions that have frequent fireworkdisplays,” Gary wrote.

This information definitely qualifies for party-pooper status. Not to worry, the BBC reported “clean and green fireworks” have been invented. Now, we suppose, it’s just a matter of people actually using them.

ResolutionsQuit smoking, go on a diet, exercise more, be a better person, travel more, work less, have more fun, eat more vegies, spend less time on social media, be more sociable, face your fears, become a romantic, learn a language, get better at your own language, save more, spend more, take more risks, take less risks, make more money, make less money, be nicer, be less nice, sleep more, sleep less, watch less TV, watch more TV,read more, read less, get a new partner, dump your partner.They’re all worthy in certain circumstances.

Our New Year’s resolution is to be less prefect.

Hangover TipsHere’s some tips to avoid a hangover from theesteemed magazine Cosmopolitan.

Double up on multivitamins, order a burger instead of a salad, rest up, skip champagne, make your roadie a Powerade, stick with clear liquor, choose juice over soda mixers, dance your ass off,drink a glass of water or two before bed, wear a sleeping mask,take an ibuprofen pill, forget hair of the dog, eat eggs the next morning.

We admit, some of this sounds a bit party-pooperish. But, hey, hangovers suck.